


Bruises of my Fingertips

by AHeartForStories



Series: These Hands of Mine [3]
Category: DreamWorks Dragons (Cartoon), How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Bruising, Emotional Whump, F/M, HTTYD AU, Hiccstrid - Freeform, Hiccup Whump, Race To The Edge, Whump, Whump!Hiccup, astrid whump, futuristic AU, rtte, slight mention of possible abuse, unintentional abuse, whump!astrid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-21 11:15:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15556494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AHeartForStories/pseuds/AHeartForStories
Summary: Sequel to 'The Guilty'. The hours when his friends would visit were always the best time during the day and they made his stay at the hospital bearable. It's just a shame that those days could be bad too.





	Bruises of my Fingertips

**Author's Note:**

> I gave Hiccup a night of emotional hell and then Toothless, so why not do the same for Astrid this time?  
> Also, constructive criticism is welcome.

Astrid Hofferson greeted the sun with nothing more than an exasperated scowl as she watched its rays come peeking through the closed blinds and straight into her eyes after another mostly restless night.

She didn't feel like getting out of bed that day. She didn't feel like sleeping much either. Although her body was definitely trying to tell her something, she was in no mood to listen.

She had visited Hiccup yesterday. Astrid had visited her boyfriend, her very much disabled boyfriend, like she did every single day since the... incident. All of the Dragon Riders did. They'd hate for him to be alone for even the few hours they weren't allowed to come by.

It was always hard. On all of them. Astrid knew she wasn't the only one who loved Hiccup more than life itself, that was just all part of being a Dragon Rider, and she wasn't the only one who had trouble seeing him like that.

Though it was a million times better than to see him bleeding out and screaming or to see him motionless in a hospital bed with his entire torso bandaged and two arms gone instead of just the one after another surgery, to walk into his room and notice two prosthetics instead of his freckled ones was always a scare aswell.

Every single time she thought she had come prepared, the sight always managed to catch her off guard again.

The first time they walked into that room and saw him lying there, not one of them knew what to say or where to look. Their gazes were drawn to the reflective surface of the replacement limbs, but at the same time they wanted to look anywhere but their leader.

Because that was who he was. Their leader, the original Dragon Rider.

It was already hard to see a friend suffer like that. Much less a friend who, after all he had been through and after all he had survived, seemed so strong and invulnerable.

It was a good thing, for Hiccup's sake, that he had not been conscious that day.

There were certain images and sounds no one could ever wipe from their memories ever again. And it did not help that sometimes just hearing Hiccup's name was all it took to remember. They had all been there to find him underneath a frozen Toothless.

Astrid knew they hated it. They hated the fact that even the sound Hiccup's very name was now associated with such a traumatic experience. As if all the amazing things he's done, the amazing person he was, were erased in the mere blink of an eye.

And even if the trauma of seeing a living, breathing human being rendered into the mess that he was that fateful day did not bother them, there was something unnerving about how quiet and disconnected Hiccup could often seem as of late.

They all knew what he had been forced to sacrifice that day. Part of his very identity, of what made Hiccup so hiccupy, was now gone. And they knew he thought of nothing else if they did not keep him distracted.

Thing was, they were distracting themselves too.

Yesterday had been a good day. Or it had certainly started that way.

Tuffnut and Ruffnut had snuck in a few movies and a laptop to play them on. Hiccup had a front-row seat of course, since the computer was on his tray table, with Astrid sitting at one side and Ruffnut at the other, Tuffnut squeezing in behind her and both Snotlout and Fishlegs leaning over in the hopes of having a decent view.

There were plenty of comedies and parody movies in that pile, anything lighthearted they could find in their wide collection, and they seemed to have worked their magic.

For a short moment Hiccup was no longer paying attention to how unnatural the weight of his new arms felt like, the absence of sensation were not driving him mad, the threat of pain was left forgotten. For a short moment, he could laugh again.

But Astrid needed to get up for a drink. Her thirst was begging to be quenched and so she moved off the bed to leave the room, perhaps she could find a soda machine somewhere and she could bring something back for all of them.

She moved away from the bed.

"Hey, you mind bringing me something too?" Hiccup had requested, as kind as always, and it had stopped Astrid right in her tracks.

He was smiling, she could hear it in his voice. He was finally smiling.

It was why Astrid couldn't bear to say anything. Why tried to keep it to herself. She didn't want him to feel bad now that he was doing better.

But as silence fell in the room, her want to keep him safe was in vain.

"Uhm, Hiccup?" Fishlegs called his name and broke through the tense and quiet atmosphere, earning him his attention.

Hiccup's gaze moved to stare at his husky friend, confusion and worry evident on his soft features.

They all stayed silent. Not one of them spoke, sharing the girl's fear of ruining his good mood.

In trepidation did Hiccup look down at where they were all staring.

And noticed he had a firm grip on his girlfriend's wrist.

He willed himself to let go and stared at his prosthetic, but the damage had already been done. Astrid released a gasp of relief she could not stop and he heard it loud and clear.

"... Hiccup?" Fishlegs came again, but other than that it stayed quiet. No one said a single word. It even almost seemed like everyone had stopped breathing.

She felt stubborn tears stinging in her eyes and she wished Hiccup would never see them, but hesitantly did Astrid still take a glance at him from over her shoulder.

Her heart ached when she noticed the distant downcast look in his eyes. He looked so lost, so forlorn. Astrid felt like she had failed him.

So as the silence continued, she quickly left the room. And instead of getting them all something to drink like her original plan was, she made a beeline for the nearest restroom.

Once inside, the teenage girl locked it behind her and promptly began to sob with her hands in her hair. Her tears were unstoppable. Though she once thought herself in control of her emotions, they had conquered her instead.

They won because her wrist was throbbing in pain. Because the love of her life was left without hope. Because there was absolutely no way for her to help him. She was useless.

Hiccup was her boyfriend. He was her fiancé, her future husband. He was the one she would have the privilege of spending the rest of her life with. He was also severely disabled now with three missing limbs, even with prosthetics as advanced as his, and she was apparently completely helpless to aid him in any way. Truly useless.

Lying in her bed the very next morning, Astrid brought her wrist up so that she could look at the ugly bruise. And it really was ugly.

Black, blue, reddish pink and purple fingerprints stained her pale skin and she felt her eyes water again at the sight. Yet her blurring vision did not make it any harder to see.

It still throbbed, which had caused her mother to suggest she take a visit to the ER. The woman feared her daughter's wrist might even be broken.

Of all the scars littering her young body, it was bruise that hurt her the most.

Her eyes weren't watery because he hurt her physically. She knew Hiccup would never mean to hurt her. Not in any way. Instead her heart ached with the agony of remembering the way he stared at his own hand, both horrified and broken.

Perhaps that was what he was now. Broken.

They had thought it impossible with the way he pushed through every hardship in his life, but maybe it had finally happened. Something inside their deceptively fearsome leader had snapped and Astrid wasn't entirely sure if they could ever fix him.

When she decided to visit him again later that day, having ignored her mother's wish to see a doctor about that bruise, Astrid seemed just fine and greeted her distant boyfriend with the same smile he was used to seeing from her.

The girl had joined him by his bedside and rested a hand on the cold surface of his fist, which had closed when she entered the room, and she had pecked a quick kiss on his freckled cheek. Though his thin lips did form the tiniest of smiles, her affections did not lift his spirits at all. It looked like he had not gotten any sleep at all last night. In fact, he could barely even look at her, which hurt her more than she could've ever imagined possible.

Almost did a very reluctant finger of his opposing hand stroke the knuckles of hers, but stopped before one single digit could even touch her warm skin. Instead Hiccup settled for gazing at the wrist he had injured.

To his surprise, there were no bruises to be seen and Astrid didn't look like she was hurting. Yet, his deep upset frown persisted.

If Hiccup really focused and looked hard enough, his overly sharp eyes could still faintly see a blueish tone that didn't belong on her fair skin and that no amount of makeup she used could properly cover up.

How could Hiccup ever live with himself if even the slightest touch could harm the girl of his dreams?


End file.
